Two nights ago I was grocery shopping with my son. C. loves to go to Kroger because they have the baskets shaped like cars, and he likes to "drive" us around the store.
I was absorbed in the list that I had in front of me when another car basket pulled up beside us. At first I thought it was someone trying to get by as the car baskets are unwieldy, to say the least. But, I looked up and saw that a young mother of really cute toddler boy was standing beside me, wanting my attention.
She asked if I was buying my groceries with cash. Well, considering I use my debit card for any transaction above fifty cents (and who doesn't these days?), I said no. She then went on to explain that she was going to buy her groceries with food stamps and needed some diapers for her son and she wanted to buy some of my groceries so I could, in exchange, get her some diapers.
Before I tell the rest of what happened, let me explain something about this mom and her son. They were both dressed nicely, probably better than C. and me. She was very polite and non-intrusive. She did not have the air of entitlement that so many today automatically assume food stamp recipients would have.
As she continued to explain her plight, I stopped her in mid sentence. I asked her to follow me so I can get her some diapers. She protested, but I again stopped her. I told her that it wasn't so long ago that I worried about where I would get the money to pay for diapers, baby formula, or some other necessity for my family.
Anyway, the story ends here. I bought the diapers. The mom was extremely thankful, and we went our seperate ways.
Now, why do I tell this story. Well, for a couple of reasons. The first is that doing good for others is truly the work of God. It always helps that person and makes you feel good.
The second reason is to illustrate that doing good for others will also bring out detractors almost immediately. I know for a fact that people reading this will think, "Well she was just using you. She really wanted the cash for something else." My response, "WHO CARES!" My philosophy is that doing good for others should come with no strings attached. I don't care what a stranger's motive is when asking for help. The fact is, they asked for help, and if I can help, I will do my best to most of the time.
The final reason for this post is to show an even more personal side of me. I have no problem helping strangers. It seems so easy. You help. People feel good. It's over. You don't have to deal with that person ever again usually. What I'm getting at is that it's so easy to help strangers, but can be so hard to be as loving to those that mean the most to you. I can be a complete terror at home. To think of some the arguments Belinda and I've had makes me want to crawl away and hide. Instances of failure with my kids sometimes are too many that they can be suffocating. The point being, I have to place all of these failings at Christ's feet and know that with Him I can be a better person not only to those out in the world but also to those in my world currently.
"All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name." - Acts 10:43 NIV.
If you've read this far, please comment on how you react to strangers' bids for help and if you face the same troubling contradicitons that I've pointed out.
Thanks!
-cwrizzle
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6 comments:
Chris,
Great story. I've done what you did, but I've also said no. Just this weekend, a guy asked me for 50 cents (that's it!) when we were leaving a burger joint around VCU. I checked in the car and only saw pennies, but offered him some food/drink instead. He said no. A few minutes later, I found the little purse my wife keeps nickels, dimes, quarters, etc. in but the guy was around two blocks down the street. I contemplated for several minutes doing something about it, but just ended up driving away. My thought at the time was exactly what you said - I thought WHO CARES? It's just fifty cents he asked for.
But who am I to know what that fifty cents might have meant for him. It was such a simple request.
I can and am sure most everyone can provide numerous other stories, both me helping and me doing nothing.
I can't believe how much I am finding myself reading/thinking about this topic lately... online, in our small group, in my daily life, everywhere.
BTW - did you get a pingback from me on a meme titled "WWJS - to me"?
Hmmm, ive often given money to homeless and the disaffected youth that were hanging around the downtown mall (especially if they had a dog). Ive also given them food. Also the homeless guys at the intersections sometimes. Also given money to some people at gas stations 'my car ran out of gas'(but upon further reflection decided they were probably trying to scrape enough togehter to buy a 20 rock). I guess thats the chance you have to take tho. I know alot of people are all 'get a job homeless guy' but i realize alot of people in that situation, while physically able to work, are often mentally unstable and incapable of holding down a job. Back in the day it used to be that family would take care of these people - but that seems not to be the case anymore. Maybe more goverment funding is needed? (cough cough vote democrat cough cough)
In reading Salsera's comment, I recall hearing I believe on NPR just today news that the chronic homeless rate is the lowest in N # of years, BUT they now does NOT include those that are complete families or those that are living with family. They went on to share a story (might have been more I didn't catch the entire thing) about a man in NY with two boys that no longer could live with his mother due to medical illness. He was being rejected from shelters because the city/state was ruling that he should instead be living with family :)
I've got so much more on my mind on this topic but not really sure how to word it, or if I even should say it (some family-related). I wonder what role the gov't should have and really how much one can do when you are in that situation. I figure the best thing is to just get involved in some way (instead of talking + wondering about it) and do what we can.
I read today on Yahoo news that statistics show that 1 in 4 of the homeless are our veterans. Now that's a sad commentary on our retired and/or war heroes.
Maybe the government should look at how they are treating those that gave them their all and their best. Is the government treating the vets the way we treat stuff we don't need or want any more? We've become such a disposable society that we now think of people as disposable. How sad...
Beamer 319
When I was little, my parents used to take me to DC every weekend. I would save my allowance ($1.50 per week) and give all of it to the friendly faces on the corners asking for money. They would often say "God Bless you little girl" with enormous smiles on their faces...for me, knowing that I'd made a difference to these strangers was the biggest reward- certainly bigger than anything I could have purchased at the candy store. However...as I grew up I learned that many of these beggers were "professional beggers" who had homes and cars and many had more money than my family. I've also become more fearful over the years...being stopped for money- if it's in my pocket I will give it but if I have to open my wallet to retrieve it...well that's another story.
Here's what we (me & my husband) do now: when we see homeless people begging on street corners, we give them food, water, necessities. My husband once went to the store and bought bandaids, tylenol, bottled water, canned food, etc and took the bag back to the man who lives on the corner. Though he was a bit scared that the man might not know what the neosporin was for, not to eat of course.
A little goes a long way. Don't let fear hold you back, but do be safe.
Jesus and his angels walk among us daily. It our obligation to forego our perceptions and do God's works as best we can.
Place yourself in the Mom's side of the cart--she had to tell a complete stranger she was unable to take care of her child.
Your act of faith erases the angst of past arguments and knee-jerk statements made to those you love. By your actions you will be known, your faith be manifest.
Your podmates know this!
Vivat Jesus!!!
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