Thursday, August 30, 2007

Britney, Give Us ALL a Break From Your Butt


Britney Spears shows her ass again, literally. It's sad really, on many fronts. But, for God's sake, you're a mom! Act like one a little bit. Give up the attention-whoring and get a clue.


The fact that almost everyone now feels K-Fed could be a better influence on your Brit's kids, is PATHETIC!


The fact that I've been sucked into commenting on the bloodsucking celebrity media circus is even more PATHETIC, but I'm tired and it's an easy post.


Call it a cop out. I know it is. AND PUT SOME PANTS ON BRITNEY!!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

The Iraq...Therefore, Such As

Haven't seen any snarky posts about this yet. It's too funny just by itself.

What makes it even better is that Mario Lopez is giving her the hairy eyeball. If Mario Freakin' Lopez can think on his feet quicker than you, you are in definite trouble!

Monday, August 27, 2007

Riding The Short Bus Is No Easy Ride - Even If It Stops In Richmond


I'm reading The Short Bus: A Journey Beyond Normal by Jonathan Mooney. Check that, I'm struggling through the book.


I'm not struggling because the book isn't well written. I'm struggling because the author is very adept at peeling back the pretty veneer we as a society put on dealing with people that aren't "normal."


Mooney doesn't come at his readership as someone who is talking from an academic viewpoint. He was a "special ed" kid who went through being labeled abnormal or viewed as different. His story is even more interesting because eventually graduates from Brown University and is obviously a published author.


The book centers around Jonathan fixing up an old short bus and traveling the country to hear and undertand several people's story about being disabled.


No one has complemented me on my great use of the English language in describing my son's issues and how it affects my family. I'm trying to get better, but I feel that Jonathan does a great job at hitting so close to home for special needs families and the general population.


So, here are some excerpts that illustrate what I mean:


In describing a conversation that Jonathan had with Chad, a teenager with cerebal palsy, while about to plunge down a hill on a roller coaster during a visit to an amusement park, Jonathan writes, "As we boarded the ride, I pushed Chad to elaborate. 'So Chad," I said over the roar of the machinerhy, 'what are the little things?' This wasn't me being patronizing. This was something that I needed to know. So many of the previous days had been for me about thinking through what matters, what doesn't, how we as human beings decide that. 'Names,' he said. 'You know, when, like, my brother calls me names. These are little things. I let them go.' I nodded; that seemed wise to me. 'And big things?' I asked as we were buckled in. 'Blood," he said. 'When there is blood, that is a big thing.' "


In another very honest conversation, Jonathan talks with Candee, who's daughter was born with Down syndrome. "The day Katie was diagnosed with Down syndrome, Cande said, 'Tell me she's deaf, tell me she's blind, tell me she's crippled, just don't tell me she is retarded."


The book pulls no punches and, in turn, is very honest. It's a difficult read, but a refreshing read. I recommend it to all.


Plus, the Rivah City gets a nod. Jonathan visits a family here in Richmond. That visit is outstanding. Anytime you have a little deaf girl cursing out her teachers in sign langugae, you know you can't go wrong.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I'm Takin' It To The Man And I Like It

So, as you all know by now, I have season tickets to the Redskins. I couldn't go to the preseason game last Saturday. Acutally, I didn't want to go and give even more money to the money grubbing regime of little Danny Snyder, but that's a different story.

One of my best friends from college could use the tickets and his wife is a HUGE Steelers fan, so I figured sending the tix to them would be a good thing to do and an easy way to get rid of tickets. Not so fast, young grasshopper!

I go to the Kinko's up the street to FedEx the tickets. I was told by the very unhelpful Kinko's associate, in between her talking to one of her sistahs on the phone, that the tickets would get to my buddy in plenty of time for the game. This was Thursday.

Fast forward to Friday evening. I figured I would logon to fedex.com and track the package, since I hadn't heard from my buddy, which isn't like him. To my surprise the package was still in Ashland, twenty miles up the road! This wasn't good.

Long story short, I had to get the Redskins to reprint the tickets, have my friend pick them up at the box office, and have him pay $4 per reprinted ticket.

How am I taking it to the man, you ask? I filed a claim. That's right, a claim. Since the tix were delivered Monday, two days after the game, I have proof of the value of the tickets.

The claims process supposedly allows me to get a refund of the full value of the merchandise shipped AND shipping charges. Pretty cool since I was giving the tickets away. Take that FedEx!

We'll see how it turns out, however. The claims process takes 5-7 business days. I bet you that the check gets lost in the mail.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

"Drop Dead Chris"

I had a bad start to the morning. Can't blame anyone but myself. I get caught up in being sarcastic to people because I think its funny, but really I do it because I'm scared of silence.

Belinda and I had a short spat this morning which ended with her telling me to "drop dead." I immediately acted high and mighty and started to pout. Nevermind all the times I'm a jerk. Nevermind the times I've annoyed the crap out of her all in the name of "joking around."

Anyway, sorry honey. I love you and hope you have an awesome day......................


And by the way, I haven't dropped dead yet. :)

Monday, August 20, 2007

My Pod Is Choking Me To Death

The funny thing about the above cartoon, is not management's ineptitude, but the fact that the cube dwellers depicted have nothing on my dreaded pod at work.

Let me start by saying, I love my job. I work for a company that allows a lot of crap from our team as long as the mission is accomplished. I'm in a line of work that stimulates my brain, and my co-workers are usually really cool.

However, management had the bright idea about 4 months ago to take down our high walled cubes and put us in pods. Of course this idea was to "build team spirit" and "improve efficiency." Translate that to mean "stop the workforce from looking at porn and be able to track their every move."

We went from having cubes that had walls tall enough that you had to stand up to talk to a coworker to a literal pod of desks that have no walls at all.

I'm in a square of desks that has one entrance/exit. If me and my three podmates all rolled our chairs back 3 feet at the same time, we'd all hit each other. I'm what people typically classify as a big and tall man, except I'm not tall. I need room for God's sake!

The other cool thing is that since we have no walls or sound barriers, if more than one person is on the phone, it sounds like an Indian call center. Really efficient way to run a sales floor!

Thankfully, our new ceo is going to install dividers along the pod perimeters to give us some semblance of noise control. Now I'm just worried that the pod will take on the look and feel of a zoo enclosure.

Remember, whatever you do, DON'T feed the monkeys!

Let's GO....HOKIES!!!!!


Today, in case you've been living under a rock, is the return to classes for the Hokie Nation at Virginia Tech.

In thinking about this post, I admit I've struggled. The mix of emotions I feel about Tech is very mixed indeed. I graduated in '98 and love my alma mater. When I went to school I wasn't a "typical" Hokie. I didn't belong to a frat or play sports. I was a certified hippie. The great thing about Tech is that if you didn't fit the mold there was a mold you would fit. While cliche, it's true...VA Tech student body is a family.

When the shootings happened, like everyone else, I was shocked. Blacksburg is nothing but a bucolic, slow paced, college town. Not a place for a massacre.

When Dateline showed the stories of the victims, I readiy admit I cried like someone from my own family was killed. I can't explain it. I didn't know anybody that was killed or injured, and I really haven't been back to campus since I graduated. I just felt a void like so many others did and still do.

However, I want today to be about the awesome things at Tech. I want to remember sitting on the War Memorial overlooking the Drillfield at night, watching The Kind at South Main Street Cafe, grooving to Rubicon Crossing at Champs, doing beer bongs with buddies before football games in my room at Pritchard, being the last class that roomed in Major Williams residence hall, floating down the New River in a rented tube with your beer tube beside you, eating wings on Sundays at Sharkey's, and finally, being one of thousands of rabid Hokie fans shaking the hell out of their keys during a "key play" at Lane Stadium (pre-expansion).

I love Virginia Tech! God bless the families directly affected by the senseless tragedy and the overall student body, past and present.

Let's GO.....HOKIES!!!!

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Baconator Has Gone TOO Far!


In my opinion, the only people that don't like bacon are lying or communists, plain in simple (sorry honey!). How can you not like fried, crispy, oily, strips of pig flesh? Sounds very delicious to me.


However, the new Baconator from Wendy's has gone too freakin far. It has like 6 strips of bacon, 2-3 patties (square, not round, of course), and about a pound of mayonaise. For the health concious, I do believe, they will throw on a leaf of lettuce and a over ripened tomato slice.


I'm all for the deliciousness of heart stopping food odities, but for goodness' sake, is 12,000 calories on a bun with half a side of a sow really necessary? Decide carefully, people....decide carefully!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

The King Is Dead But Damn He Can Still Rock

Lots of music posts recently. While in the late seventies, Elvis became a parody of himself, in the early seventies he still had it.

Who wouldn't want have wanted to see Elvis live when he knew how to put a show on and wasn't slurring due to one to many downers and peanut butter and nanner sandwiches?

Rock on Elvis!

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

This Cat Should Win

I'm a huge music fan.

As I just recently posted about, my wife and I watch a lot of reality tv.

Typical music constestants on reality tv plain ol' suck. Cas Haley is an exception. The joy he eminates when performing is off the hook. He really makes me smile.

I hope America votes him the winner on "America's Got Talent" because Cas defintely does. To rock Stevie Wonder like that is sick.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Rock Wins

I admit my wife loves "reality" tv. I, in turn, love reality tv.

Rock from Spotsylvania won "Hell's Kitchen." He wins a top chef gig at the Green Valley Ranch in Vegas and a one year contract with the resort worth $250,000.

I grew up in the Fredericksburg area, so it's good to see someone from there get positive exposure.

Read the article on Rock's win in the Free-Lance Star, Fredericksburg's paper.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

What the heck happened to your eyebrows?

Friday evening didn't start out so well. The commute from my office door to my front door typically takes no more than 35 minutes. Friday it took more than an hour and a half because of several accidents along 95 south. Needless to say, I was a little tense when I pulled in alongside the house.

The girls come bounding up to the car, which always makes me smile.

K. looked a little strange. It was cooler than it had been, but it was still hot. What was odd about K. was that she had that silly, floral, Gilligan-like bucket hat on when it was at least 90 degrees outside.

As she started to chat away about her day and how she wanted ice cream, her hat slid back on her head and then I noticed it. One of the weirdest conversations I've ever had with any of my kids then ensued.

And it went a little somethin' like this:

"K., what the heck happened to your eyebrows?"

"Uhhhhh....Nothing."

"No really honey, what happened? Your eyebrows are gone!"

Fearing that she had been playing with daddy's razor, I went straight to the point.

"K. How did you cut your eyebrows off?"

"With my scissors."

"Why?"

The only obvious answer for a six year old that has cut off her eyebrows followed:
"I don't know."

It's these type of moments that first perplex you as a parent, but when you have a day or two to reflect, you realize at how awesome of a job you have.

When is the last time you went in to work and had a discussion with a coworker on why they cut their eyebrows?

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Your Team Doesn't Have Chief Z!


If you can't tell, I can't wait until the NFL is upon is. Above is a picture of two of the kids with Chief Z at FedEx Field. My dad and I took them up there for the draft day party they held at the stadium.
I know I'm a dork, but the really dorky thing is that I don't care.
Hail to the Redskins!

Friday, August 10, 2007

They are who we thought they were,,,

...and we let 'em off the hook.

Nothing new here, but it's one of the best clips to show how awesome the NFL can be. Thanks Denny.

I wonder if Coach Gibbs would ever do something like that?

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

They're With The Band - A Scary Groupie Story

Because of my insatiable appettite for golf, I missed a seminal moment in my daughters' lives last night. They're officially with the band.

After hacking it up on the course and literally sweating through my clothes (shorts included), I notice my wife called. I gave her a ring back to hear that I missed my two daughters up on stage playing the tambourine.

Say what? Why the heck were my 8 and 6 year old within 200 feet of a band? Why were they allowed on stage? Why in the world would they chose the "instrument" that has notoriously been reserved for groupies?

Well, last night was National Night Out. The park across the street from my humble abode was the site for one of the celebrations in Colonial Heights. I understand it was quite a shindig, obviously including a band.

Both B. and K. decided last night would be a great time to shed any performance inhibitions they might have had and jump up on stage. I understand they were pretty good. B. was even getting into the groove and bobbing her head up and down.

I'm so glad they had a great time, but my dad sense is admittedly going off. I hope they don't grow an affinity for jumping up on stage for any reason. If they do, at least ask to play the maracas for goodness sake!

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Social Services Can't Give Out Food In August

Per an article in the Progress-Index today, Dinwiddie Social Services had to stop distributing food to the over 200 familes they service because of depleted supplies.

This is a great example of how we can make an immediate difference in our local community. Instead of complaining about how bad things are, how this politician has done us wrong, or some other societal ill, how 'bout we get up and help our local neighbors?

The Central Virginia Food Bank helps service Dinwiddie and the Tri-Cities. Please take a moment, rumage through your pantry, and give a box of food today. No creamed corn please!

Thursday, August 2, 2007

One of the best places on Earth


One of the places I love to visit in the fall is so special to me and my family. You can't beat the view, the sounds, or the sights. You're surrounded by the fall colors of burgundy and gold. You're with close friends.


Where am I talking about????
FedEx Field during a home game of my beloved Redskins. Got my season tickets this week and I'm stoked. This will be the second year my family has owned tickets. We're in Sect. 441 about 5 rows from the top of the largest stadium in the NFL. Being with 90,000 of your closest friends rooting on the most storied franchises in NFL history is awesome. What makes it even better is this year we'll be celebrating the team's 75th anniversary. Can't wait! What a great time of year!



Wednesday, August 1, 2007

RUN!!!

This is priceless. There have been many posts on RVAblogs recently re: Photoshopping images. This is one of the best I've seen. It also sums up my feelings on the Vick situation