ARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!
I'm just so frustrated with myself recently.
I'm frustrated that I've been out of work for almost two months. I'm frustrated I'm still not the husband that I can and should be. I'm frustrated at my kids. I'm frustrated at the way I react to my kids.
I'm frustrated at the church not really having the gumption to get up off its butt and change the world. I'm frustrated that abberrant theology is making such an inroads with young believers through the "emerging church." I'm frustrated that I'm looking so hard at others when I should focus more on myself.
I'm frustrated that I want more out of the relationships I have now, but am not really giving any more than I have in the past.
So now what? Not really sure. Just needed to let it out.
About Me
- Chris
- I'm a follower of Christ,the father of three kids, an avid Redskin fan, and typical pain in the rear end husband.
3 comments:
Better watch it... I used to (ah as if I speak completely past tense and that this of course never happens anymore) get so frustrated and look what happened to me!
But seriously, I wonder sometimes especially lately what sometimes I am here to learn or grow from through challenges such as these... because those sure are mine as well. I do know though that Isa and I have grown closer (and then had some pretty big arguments the day later... gotta love it) through all this medical stuff, so I know sometimes there is a purpose...
it's 4:00am & I'm reading this. Couldn't sleep. I'm frustrated as well. Mainly, that seemingly no matter the effort, nothing really changes. I want more as well on many fronts - it again, seemingly just doesn't develop. It makes me want to simply stop. It seems there is oftentimes the promise of change that just never manifests. I am impatient but I am trying to invest wisely & significantly & I just question the dividends. Feels like one big wheel-spin.
I came across these verses last night:
Romans 8:20-21 (NIV):
For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope thata the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
I like the ESV version even better because it puts futility in the place of frustration!
I know God is good. I know that. I just don't feel like I'm doing my part, enough.
I'm glad you dudes are around so I can share this stuff without being viewed as a freakazoid.
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